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I realized on Sunday that I might need to consider chilling out a little bit on the getting in shape and enjoying the outdoors front. That was the day when I did a trail run out in Forest Park with housemate Natalie, pooch Taxi, and Natalie's friend Chelsea. Reports vary —Natalie thinks we ran twelve or thirteen miles, I calculated it to be more around ten or eleven— but I spent approximately an hour and forty five minutes running at least ten miles in the woods. Then, when we got back to the car, I got a voicemail from Dan suggesting we do the Council Crest bike ride, which has one climbing to the highest point in Portland. The weather was relatively nice and I still had energy, so after an hour break wherein I got home, ate a quick lunch, and changed clothes he and I did that lovely route together. And the thing is, despite a bit of rubber leg on the last major uphill, I kept up just fine. Barely felt like I had gone running that day at all. It is only a thousand feet of elevation gain and barely 14 miles roundtrip, but it was always a nice challenging bike ride before this point.

In the last two weeks days I have done three hikes (Mt. Defiance, Rock of Ages, and Oneoata), three trail runs in Forest Park, four city runs, two bike rides, and two trips to the Reed Sports Center. Considering my relatively idle life beforehand, that is quite a change. Then, there is the fact my laundry habits have doubled from the stinky clothes and I have somehow lost five pounds in two weeks. And, I have just bought two more pairs of trail running shoes as I think my current pair will poison anyone within two feet if I do not give them more airing out time.

Not exactly troubled, as I kind of like the idea of being in amazing shape again. Just do not want to turn into one of those über-outdoor people who are just a tad too obsessive for my tastes and do not seem capable of actually relaxing and having fun. I think I should just take at least a couple days off per week and do another kind of activity. Funny, when I just typed that out a little voice in my head suggested, "how about kayaking?"

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With the above in mind, I spent today starting a little coding project. Well, perhaps 'little' is not quite the best word as if it is completed it will be quite a large codebase. More of the line of thought that it is an a little venture I can dabble in occasionally to keep my coding and thinking chops in existence. Originally, I was going to use CodeIgniter to built it as this new project is a PHP application, but honestly there are things about CodeIgniter's approach that have never sat well with me.

The curse of being an experienced developer in a language is that you always have your own crazy, albeit absolutely perfect, ideas about how a piece of code should be written. If a framework interferes with that in any way, you get annoyed and cranky. When you are coding, you want it to flow as if the logic is an extension of how your mind works. Tools should help me, not get in the way of how I think and progress in a project. This is why there are so many darn PHP frameworks to choose from, I suppose. With that in mind, I am starting completely from scratch and trying out a few new ideas.

Like any intelligent PHP coder, though, I really like many of CodeIgniter's libraries (heck, might have helped write a few of them) so I intend to use a smattering of them, if I can. Also, I might bring over the entirety of the Active Record system too as I see no reason to write my own. Ah, the joys of OSS.

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Friends should not ask for my honest opinion about their partners, if they really do not want to hear it. So I do not find them remotely interesting or think we two should hang out together as friends. That's not to say they are not a really great person that you have a connection with and should continue to date. I find plenty of people boring and not altogether worth my time, it is NOT a judgement on your relationship with them. And I am certainly not the kind of person willing to try and push this phrase out my lips: "They seem nice..."

And they especially should not keep on asking if I keep on changing the subject.

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As I have moved back to PDX permanently, I spent a while on the phone yesterday changing my car insurance back from Maine to Oregon. Progressive has always gotten excellent marks on their customer service with me. Never been on hold, the representative has always been knowledgeable and friendly, and everything is done correctly. The operators have never tried to push any additional services on me either.

When I switched though, it seems I automatically was enrolled in their TripSense program. Basically, a small device is plugged into my car's On-Board-Diagnostic (OBDII) port and it records data like mileage, speed, acceleration habits, and braking. On a periodic basis, I connect the device to my computer, review the data, and I can upload it to Progressive for them to evaluate. Just for participating, I receive 5% of my car insurance rate and depending on my driving habits, I could get 25% off the next time my insurance is renewed in six months.

On some level, I am a bit concerned about them having any information about my driving habits. On the other hand, you only give them this information voluntarily (after you review it) and there is no way they can track where you have been driving as there is no GPS system involved, contrary to a few erroneous internet forums. There privacy policy says the data will not be shared with anyone and that it will never be used to raise my rates. Also, it seems entirely rational to me that car insurance rates, which are already partially based on your driving record from the DMV, should also include more concrete information like speeding, severe stops, and the amount one drives.

My car insurance rates are already low as my car is ten years old, I have had no accidents, and they give me a discount for being with them for years now. The amount I realistically would save, even with the possible 25% rate off, would only cover going out to eat twice. Not a huge incentive. Also, their privacy policy could change at any time and I doubt any serious legal request for that information would be ignored.

I am still debating canceling the TripSense tomorrow, but I might just let my car try it and see what the data shows in six months. There is apparently a software developer kit out there for the device, so I could potentially have a great deal of fun investigating what information it is gathering by the system.

Oh, and here is a NY Times article about pay-as-you-drive (PAYD) insurance.

Whenever I am contemplating a decision, I often review my motives first. Ever since I heard David Hume's second most well known dictum, "Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions," it has struck a strong chord with me. Our desires, known here as the 'passions', control the very foundation of our thinking and decision making. Nothing supersedes them. Thankfully, our desires and motives are more than one level deep, typically. One wants to want to exercise. One wants to want to help people in need. So on, so forth, and if I go any further we might just have to talk about Elizabeth Anscombe and no way are we doing that on a Saturday night.

My process, in so far as I have one, involves tossing around different points of view in my mind and following through the possible consequences to see how I myself would perceive and how others might perceive it affecting my character. To bare it simpler with a hyperbole: if I was thinking of taking over the world, would killing a billion people to eventually solve global hunger and eliminate water shortages make me evil both in my eyes and the eyes of those I respect?

There really is no direct chain of questions I ask though. My mind wanders. A lot. One of my favorite directions lately is whether evil actually exists when there is no God, as we are all natural beasts whose underlying structures are so similar (albeit chaotic in their formation) that in order for only some of us to be rationally considered what most of us believe to be evil there would require some manner of intention in our creation. And, of course, I often have a little digression where I think to myself if there is evil it requires a God as only God could truly be evil as only he could actually stop evil things from happening or evil people being created. Then I remember that I do not believe in omnipotent, omniscient invisible beings who never give proof of their existence but people think require that we have a lifetime of testing before sending us to a heaven or hell for the rest of eternity. Scottish shortbread cookies are an excellent followup for those moments.

Notice that last paragraph? All wanderings. We really should get back on topic. Look for my self-published philosophy book, Gods and Cookies, on digital bookshelves as soon as I start, finish, and revise it for public consumption. Yes, that was a pun on the end there. Get over it.

So, I ask questions and try to determine how it will change my perceived character. I sense a couple eyes fluttering back to that word 'perceived' though. Let's just say that I only agree with two thirds of this William James quote, as it seems nay impossible to know a 'character' objectively as we are all subjects ourselves.

Once I have a fairly firm grasp on what I see as possible outcomes from my possible decisions, I evaluate which one is most inline with my desires as a person. Do I want to see myself as evil, good, rational, emotional, nice, mean? To what degree? How do I want others to see me? Do I care?

The tricky part begins here and is where I see religion coming into play. You have to have a reason for living. A purpose. An overarching desire to give your life meaning. Does not have to be pretty or succinct, but you surely should it a bit of thought. Many, too many in my opinion, have it as following the tenets of a religion blindly. How wasteful to be given the gift of reason and never use it to explore and build a foundation for your life.

I have my own, which as I suggest in my first paragraph is more than one level deep. No matter what yours is, it explains a great deal of your character. And, here is the part I love, it can be changed. You can want to want to be good. You can want to want to do the right thing.

And...

It is late. Yet, I think there are even deeper motivations beyond desires that influence desires and are the basis for our desires concerning character, but they are not quite desires as we think of them philosophically. Love, Pain, and Social Instinct, for example. That dips far deeper into psychology than philosophy but at least we can consider them, if not outright affect them.

Link. Spectacular! Number eleven is so cool.

Link. An amazing casting choice.

Link. I am doing my Tim Allen caveman grunting impression right now.

A young man staring at a blank creamy white color wall right behind his bed. In his hand, an ice axe. Cool blue handle with swirling hues of black. A veritable symbol of mountaineering.

He gets on the bed and places the ice axe on the wall. A nail is already there and holds the ice axe up exactly as the man wants.

He steps back off the bed. Folds his arms and tilts his head, eyeing the effect. He notices that the head of the ice axe would exist right above his pillow. He imagines it falling in the middle of the night; its pointed pick going cleanly through his skull.

He gets back on the bed and flips the ice axe. Steps back again and as he does so, the ice axe falls off the wall and the spike at the end of the handle lands precisely in the middle of his pillow.

He mutters to himself, "Perhaps not..."

Nothing like Jack Johnson on a cloudy Tuesday when you are just bumming around home for a few hours stuck in your own mind.

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Our furnace seems to have taken ill, so I am sitting at home today waiting for the furnace repairman to come by and look at it. We had a power surge over the weekend, so we suspect that it caused a problem. I went through all of the usual steps of checking the breaker, shutting down the furnace, restarting it, checking the thermostat, et cetera but it simply ignores us and sits there doing nothing. Part of me is apprehensive that the repairman will come by, do exactly what I did, and it will magically work. He'll give me that look of pity that implies he understands, sadly, how many 21st Century males can no longer understand how to work on their modern cars or fix any of their home systems using complex electronics. All one had to do was reverse the polarity on the fusion inducer, sheesh...

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My furniture finally arrived yesterday morning and I spent a number of hours finally organizing my bedroom and all of my stuff still in boxes. Amazing how two bookcases and a dresser can make one's life so much more organized. It was starting to drive me a bit nutty that my room was so messy and cluttered. Layers of stuff had started accumulating in areas, so that to find anything required moving clumps of clothes, wires, books, and various small items. Success in finding an object was rarely guaranteed. Now, I can move about and find stuff easily without stubbing my toes.

And, the furniture is beautiful, more so than I remember when I bought it. Rather pleased by my selections. And the iMac fits perfectly on top of the smaller bookcase, so that I can sit (or lounge) on my bed and watch movies comfortably whenever I want. Far better than having a TV in our living room.

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Last night, Sarah came over to claim the old bookcase I found off Craigslist a couple weeks ago and that was just replaced by the new bookcases. On her way here, she happened to run into two old Reedie friends that I had not seen in years, Alyx and Kyla, which she brought over to visit. Kyla and I did a rock climbing class with Doug Ironside our first semester at Reed and then hung out a great deal afterwards as we made our way through freshman year. I remember sitting on her floor writing a Hum 110 paper while she and her roommate Sarah worked on theirs. Alyx lived just down the hall in the same dorm, so we saw each other rather regularly too. Was quite a treat as Kyla has been down in the Southern Hemisphere doing research off the coast of Antarctica for a while, so I never realistically expected to see her again. I heard she was looking for more research work but in the northeast this time, but it seems she decided to visit PDX first. Always nice to see more of old Reedie friends.

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Woke up early on Sunday and decided to hike Mt. Defiance in the Gorge. For some reason, early May and a heavy snowfall this year in Oregon did not equate in my mind to there being a great deal of snow on a 5000' peak. Um, whoops. More than half of the route was well covered in snow. Some of it rather deep and not compacted at all. Great for coming down as it is far easier on your knees than the normal rocky dirt trail, but just a bit more tiring going up when you had to help break trail with a couple of Mazamas ahead of you. Still got to the top in about three hours, and the views were completely worth it. The entire boulder field was covered in snow, making for an excellent, uncluttered view of the Gorge from up high. Next time, I am bringing gaiters though as my socks were a bit less than dry.

Met a husband and daughter hiking it as well. They were in really good shape and kept my pace the entire way up and down, kudos to them. Seems they do a hiking trip nearly every weekend and the father suggested many hiking trips I might try during my Summer Vacation.

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And, and, and...here we are at the end of the entry and the furnace repairman is still not here. Hmmmm...

There needs to be a word in the English language consisting of two A's, four I's, and a single Q.

Relatedly, 'IQ' is soooo a word!

Latin words should be allowed, if seldom used Scottish words are.

Any person who can put 'ZQFMGB' on the board should win automatically.

Hm. Yes. This was an odd morning.

My mattress arrived yesterday, so for the first night in a while I did not slumber in my sleeping bag on a floor. And then, I wake up for the first time in years with nothing whatsoever to be done. No possible work for me. Nothing to really get up to do.

I just laid there staring at the ceiling wondering to myself, is this mattress too firm? For a guy who has been sleeping on the floor more or less for the past two months, it seems an odd question. But, it just did not feel like it was giving enough. Looked online and it seems you do have to break your mattress in over the first couple months with regular rotation every two weeks to insure the layers conform and compress evenly.

So, of course, I have been body slamming the mattress at regular intervals. We'll see how it feels tonight.

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Eventually I did remove my lazy carcass from bed and did my usual morning routine. Spent part of the morning visiting Reed and helping them with their new Kerberos authentication system testing, for which I received a rather large bag of Skittles as payment. As I am no longer a fully employed programmer, I might just stash them away for a while until I have a need for such high levels of sugar. With the size of the bag, I am sure I could build Skynet in no time.

Went to the bike store as I was out of chain lubricant and with the recent downpours, my chain could use a little tender loving care. Also, as I am biking downtown tonight to see Iron Man, I finally purchased some bike lights. On the island, I did not use my bike very frequently, alas, and there was not nearly enough traffic to justify purchasing lights. PDX is a far different beast entirely.

And, I hesitate to mention this, as I have given them insults and cajoles for so long, but I got a pair of biking shorts. My loins! In spandex! I am tempted to make a joke here about the summer's first blockbuster, but I resist. Oh, how I resist! Just figured if I was going to be doing long bike rides in the West Hills and out to the east, they would serve to make my lower half more comfortable. We shall see if I have the strength of spirit to actually go out in them though.

This afternoon was to be spent reading in a coffee shop, but Natalie, my PDX housemate, informed me that she and Taxi (z'pooch!) were going running in Forest Park. So began a nice little trip where we ran seven miles in the woods with practically no people about. I had intended to not start running in the West Hills until I was in good enough shape to bike there, run, and then bike back without collapsing in exhaustion somewhere on the Hawthorne Bridge, where I would perhaps fly over the side and fall, tragically, into the Willamette River, which is so polluted as to possibly transform me into Portland's own version of the Swamp Thing. Naturally, I would terrorize the Yuppies in the Pearl District and fight for the environment.

Right. The whole idea of driving to run somewhere is a bit foreign. With the dog though, it only makes sense and with two people it does not seem nearly so uneconomical. And, I was surprised that I was capable of running seven miles up and down hills in mud without stopping for so long. Not sure what was up my running in Bend, but it is good to know Portland and I get along so well.

So, that was my first day without work. Just warming up, easing into it. Tomorrow, after sleeping in from my midnight showing of Iron Man, I get to prepare my bedroom for some new furniture arriving from Tropical Salvage. I was originally looking to get hardwood furniture from a place like The Joinery, but the cost is rather prohibitive to me right now. Looking at places like Portico, which specializes in reclaimed furniture and furnishings created from reclaimed wood, was promising but after searching for a couple days I did not find anything I truly wanted and that would realistically fit into my room.

I found Tropical Salvage last night nearby and really liked the bookcases they had and there were a couple nice dressers as well. And so, for the price of one item from The Joinery, I got two bookcases and a dresser. Their ethos is greatly to my liking as well. Funny how I really start spending money only after I stop receiving the nice paycheck of a CTO. Suppose I just have the time and inclination now.

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Rick's rather touching post about my stepping down (and Derek Jones stepping up) followed by many glowing compliments from the community. Quite nice. I feel like giving out candy canes.

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Been trying to encourage myself to relax and be patient with how things are progressing involving a certain someone. Whenever I decide on something, anything, I tend to be rather focused on just making it happen. Not obsessively so, just perhaps a bit determinedly. And well, that does not seem the wisest approach for her. So, I keep on reminding myself to be patient and not jump to another decision. I can grow as a person, just a little bit. She's worth it.

The news is out! As of the end of today, I am no longer the Chief Technology Officer of EllisLab, Inc.

There is a great deal that could be said about my decision to leave. Countless thoughts and internal debates took place before I made the final decision and informed Rick. Right now, I do not want to focus on that decision. The simple fact is that it was time for me to leave. When I thought about what I possibly wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to be for the next few years, working for EllisLab was no longer at the top of my list. Not an easy decision, but there is a strong sensation of being let free. Granted, I might be free falling or blown wildly about, but there is a chance for new, exciting things to happen.

For those who knew beforehand that I was leaving, the most common question is what I intend to do next. Not so oddly, they asked if I intended to start my own company and continue building software. A fair question. Others, knowing my love of outdoors, expect me to change paths and become the full fledged mountain man so ingrained in my nature.

The truth is that I have no clue. Right now, I have three things firmly planned for the rest of my life and not a single one of them involves work. I intend to spend time with Kathryn, see Iron Man, and go to Christian's wedding. Everything else is up in the air. Completely.

Of course, I do have ideas and a couple months ago I put things in place to play around with a couple of those ideas, so we shall see which ones I choose and where they go. But, I have enough money to take many months off from work and I hope to find something worth doing again. Besides, who would not love to have a Summer Vacation in the Pacific Northwest?